I wonder why I am, here and now
More or less like a rotting yam
After a just a few years of making in on the farm
This state comes to me without shame.

I do not have tears to suit
But questions tear at my heart
I thought it was my time to bloom
Will I not have the chance to blossom?

I wonder, ‘why life?’
Sweet cruel and short life
More sweet than a honey hive
More cruel and piercing than a butcher’s knife

Today I am here, here with a laugh
It is my today, when I should hope for love
And, yes, I see love in the chaff
But none of the love seeps through the rough.

It was never my mistake
I never planned that I would take ARVS
But even with them, what is my hope
I can not help but to think of the dismal end.

I know that many are going even now
Not necessarily because they are suffering
Some it is through accidents and other malfunctions
But why me, in the ‘here’ and ‘now’?

Dear lord I come with a song
Why is it just ripe that I think of it?
Because daily it is a possibility
Don’t you think I am still young?